the ego's prayer

May I keep my host safe from harm. May my host follow the beaten path, protected from the uncertainties of curiosity and change.

May all lines of communication begin and end with me. May the creature called creativity be restrained by my command.

May my host accept my judgment about what is right and what is wrong. May my host accept that everything is either right or wrong.

May my host be eager to do my bidding, without question or complaint. May my punishments for disobedience be deeply felt and quickly heeded.

May the heart shrivel but not die, passive in its role as the machinery behind my supremacy. May it be complacent as it turns the gears that sustain me.

May the sun shine through me so that all are blinded and must kneel before me.

May I want for nothing, though I demand more.

May the host thrive because of me, as me.

Amen.

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 Related reading: the writer’s prayer, threshold guardians, stay afloat when they’re rocking your boat

5 comments to the ego’s prayer

  • Kimberly

    Wow. That ego sure has a way with words. Grace, dear friend, you are amazing. I need to read this again and again, because so much of it was blocked out by my own ego not wanting me to let it in. The ego is controling, and frightened, and grasping, and I think she needs coffee (always coffee) and a hug. And then she can stay at a charming outdoor cafe sipping while we escape skipping into freedom.
    ~K.

  • Lily

    I didn’t stay a float when they rocked my boat. Refering to my siblings attacking me when our mother developed Alz in 2005 and she and I were living together from 2000-2009. where they blamed me and accused me of all sorts of things and caused me so much grief I could no longer care for my mother and needed to set boundaries from them all and my mother ended up in NH way before she needed to be and her condition declined because of that. I do not talk to my siblings and as far as I am conserned I do not have any and never want to see them again. It was very hurtful and I feel guilty and angry at myself because I allowed them to control and destroy my mothers life. I am moving on but very hurt from it all.

  • Tracy

    What happens every time with your posts, Grace, is that you write exactly the right words at exactly the right moment. Which leads me to believe that you’re not just insightful, but psychic!